don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
found the other keg... it's in the tree
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He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
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It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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