guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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