Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other

Fav 19 2784 1051
share tweet
(813): View more from Florida

Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.

Fav 20 4828 1020
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.

Fav 24 6543 1649
share tweet
(609): View more from New Jersey

You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.

Fav 27 3041 2084
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(517): View more from Michigan

I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...

Fav 18 10339 2558
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us

Fav 2 2599 1387
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(207): View more from Maine

well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?

Fav 10 3506 1218
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol

Fav 3 179 79
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I think everything's gonna be okay.

Fav 0 43 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT