While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
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Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.