my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
