it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
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I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
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My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.