You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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