So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
not ubering you a puppy
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
