I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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