there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
