but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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