dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize