dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
