i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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