Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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