is your mom at the bar?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Randomize
