they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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