Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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