8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
