worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize