If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize