youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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