you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
