I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
