the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
