sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
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do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
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Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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