Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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