when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
