my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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