Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
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