I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
