one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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