How'd it feel making her break her religion?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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