You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
