$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I can text with my tongue
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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