PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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