How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
