You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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