Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I just found a bag of teeth...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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