I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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