her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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