I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
How naked do you want me to be?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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