I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
