If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
