remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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