I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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