How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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