D3 body, D1 cock
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
