weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
