We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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