He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
