Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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