stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
