when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
