Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
