shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
