Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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