Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize