Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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