In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
