so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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