before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
