I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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